Audition
by ChuckingDaffodils
Summary: "Hello, my name is Kurt Hummel, and I will once again be auditioning for the role of kicker." Kurt is drawn back into football and maybe into romance with the help of Ken Tanaka. Rated T for teen sensuality that we all love. NO KENxKURT SLASH
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Ken Tanaka's Plan

"Hey, Hummel! Come and see me in my office for a quick minute."

Kurt Hummel looked up from his binder devoted entirely to lyrics from the musical _Wicked_. True, he had memorized every verse from every song from the show within a week of its opening on Broadway, but Kurt had decided long ago that you could never get enough of _Wicked_.

"M-Me?' he stuttered. 'You want _me_?"

Ken nodded firmly, then held open the door to his office. Confused, Kurt squeezed between students making their way from class to their next class. Clutching his Dior shoulder bag tightly to his side, and the binder to his chest, Kurt barely managed to make his way into the office. Ken closed the door behind him and stood, with hands to his waist.

"I need a favor, Hummel." he said gruffly. Making his way around the desk, Ken lowered himself into the decaying office chair. It sank slowly with his weight. 'Come on, have a seat."

Kurt held on tight to his binder, and looked over at the only other seat in the miniature office. The fabric of the chair were a shocking lime and black plaid: wooden arm rests emerged from the back of the chair as if they were fleeing the hideousness of the pattern and colors, only to be sucked back in again as they plunged into the seat cushion. A jockstrap lay casually over one of the arms, as if it were one of those doilies that old ladies put on their chesterfields to accentuate their ancient-ness. A yellowing, smelly doily.

"No thanks.' Kurt grinned to ward off the putrid wafts. 'I prefer standing."

"Your loss.' Ken stretched his arms. Resting them behind his head, he continued:

"My nephew is transferring to McKinley this month, Hummel. He's a good kid: real good at football, pretty smart, an all-around nice guy, you know."

"The problem is,' Ken continued. He folded his arms and looked through the window into the boy's locker room. Kurt followed his gaze to see that it was empty, but very messy from football practice the night before. 'Figgins won't let me put Brad on the team straight away: because we're family and all, Figgins doesn't believe it'll be fair that he's automatically accepted, while the other guys had to try out."

"So where do I fit into all of this?" Kurt asked cautiously. He wasn't so sure that he wanted to find out.

"My nephew Brad,' Ken paused, and looked over at Kurt. 'is a kicker."

Confused, Kurt stared at Ken for a moment.

"I was the kicker.' he concluded. 'but I'm not anymore. What does this have to do with me?"

"Damn right you were a kicker.' Ken answered. 'A hell of a kicker, if you ask me. To get Brad on the team, I want to make it seem like he's actually got competition. That way, the other guys won't pick on him so much because he'll be better than the old kicker, and Figgins will see that Brad deserves the spot."

Kurt blinked. There was still a major flaw in the plan.

"Ken- Mr. Tanaka, I still don't understand why I'd be trying out for the football team, when I've already left. Most of the guys would think my trying out again is a big joke, because most of them think _I'm_ a big joke."

"Hummel,' Ken answered tensely. A vein began to throb in his forehead as he pushed himself out of the chair. 'Now, you listen to me here: you're going to go along with my plan, and you're not going to say anything, and you will _like_ the plan. Do I make myself clear?"

Kurt looked at Ken skeptically: it was hard to take a man wearing a fanny pack seriously. Still, Kurt feared that if Ken got any closer, he'd make Kurt wet with angry spit that infamously flew from his mouth during pep talks with his football players. So Kurt nodded.

"Sure, I'll audition for kicker again. Now may I please leave, I'm late for Biology class, and I just can't _wait_ to learn about the circulatory system of fetuses." Kurt made his way over the door and turned the door knob.

"Go ahead,' Ken granted, lowering himself back into his chair. 'Oh, and Hummel?"

Kurt paused and looked up at the ceiling in impatience.

"Yes?"

"Don't get too excited about those fetuses. You've got a big tryout tomorrow after school."

Kurt looked in disbelief over his shoulder at Ken, who seemed to be pretty pleased with his attempt at a joke. Opening the door as quick and as silently as he could, Kurt left the office into the empty hallways of McKinley High School.

A/N: So I noticed that there are no Kurt/ Ken fanfics posted yet… Until now! *Cue unnecessary evil laughter* Don't worry, I promise that this story will stay far away from KurtxKen slash… Patrick Gallagher is amazing and all (Go Canadians!), but I do not want to write a slash with him. Thanks for reading Chapter One!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Desk Partner

"And your name is?"

Kurt Hummel closed the Biology Lab door behind him with an unintentional slam. His cheeks red, he pushed back a stranded piece of hair as he said:

"Kurt Hummel."

The women behind the desk looked down at her attendance sheet, then back up at Kurt.

"You're late Kurt."

"I know,' he said in a quiet tone to match that of the teacher's. 'I was at a meeting with Mr. Tanaka."

She frowned, and looked him over.

"You don't seem like the kind of boy who would be on a football team." she muttered softly while marking an "L" next to Kurt's name on the attendance. Kurt just stood there, not knowing what to do.

Mercedes, who coincidentally happened to be sitting at the double desk closest to the teacher's desk and the door, looked up from her sheet at the teacher.

"What did you just say to Kurt?' she snapped. 'Were you harassing him, because my mother is a lawyer and she can sue you so hard…"

"Mercedes, it's fine.' Kurt murmured under his breath as he put his _Wicked _binder on Mercedes' desk, and sat down next to her. 'I didn't take it that way: besides, I'm not on the football team anyways."

"Well, the next time that witch says anything nasty about you, Kurt, you know I've got your back.' Mercedes smiled. 'What did Mr. Tanaka want, anyways?"

"Just wanted to ask me to tryout for the team again.' Kurt explained. 'Apparently, his nephew is coming and Figgins-'

"Mr Hummel, that isn't your assigned seat." the Biology teacher said sharply. 'Miss. Cohen-Chang, who is currently relieving herself, sits there, and would probably like it better if you sat in your assigned seat."

"Where is my assigned seat?' Kurt snapped impatiently.

"Over in the back, with the new student. The one in the varsity jacket… I can't remember his name, but he's who you're sitting next to. Just promise not to do anything sexual in my class."

Kurt narrowed his eyes, but nodded solemnly in agreement. Taking a worksheet from the teacher's desk, he walked to the back of the class.

"I heard what Ms. Erfan was saying to you.' said the boy in the green varsity jacket as Kurt put his binder on the double desk that they were to share. 'Tough luck, man."

"I try not to let it get to me.' Kurt answered simply. 'I've been getting treated like that for a long time, but mainly by jocks, but not really teachers." He paused, eyeing the jacket, and bit his tongue. This unfamiliar boy was clearly a jock, with his varsity jacket, nice hair and muscular build. Kurt said nothing more, and instead started to work on the assignment.

_Question One: _

_Describe, in a paragraph of 250 words or less, the essential function of a tapeworm in the intestine of the male Holstein bull._

Crap. Maybe Question Two would be easier.

_Question Two:_

_What is the difference between a flatworm and a tapeworm?_

Kurt sighed as he read through the rest of the questions. Not surprisingly, they all had to do with tapeworms and flatworms. Kurt's eyes floated over to his partner's sheet. He was already on Question Nine on the back:

_Question Nine:_

_How do the presence of tapeworms factor into many common diseases today? Use examples._

"How do you know so much about tapeworms?" Kurt asked. The jock stopped writing and looked over at Kurt.

"Well, I'll let you in on a secret.' he said, blushing slightly. 'I've kind of- already taken this course."

"So you failed Grade 11 Bio, and you're re-taking it?" Kurt assumed quickly: he chuckled huskily when the jock gave him a confused look.

"No… I got a 96 when I took it in Grade 10.' the jock said slowly. 'I'm only retaking Biology this year for easy marks."

"Oh,' said Kurt. "To bad you didn't already take Study Hall 11… easy marks there." He chuckled again.

Kurt's desk partner seemed to suspect something was up. In a low voice, he said:

"Look, I'm flattered that you like me, but I have a girlfriend."

"Oh,' Kurt felt somewhat relieved. 'That's cool." And he returned to his worksheet.

"What's in your binder?' asked the jock moments later.

Kurt's eyes darted over to his binder at the corner of the desk. He had completely forgotten about it.

"Oh, um, there's showt- lyrics in there. To the musical _Wicked_. I'm, uh, I'm reviewing lyrics for Glee club."

To Kurt's relief, the jock smiled and nodded.

"Glee club, that's cool. My girlfriend's in it, she told me, and it was big at my old school."

"Oh, so you're new here?' Kurt asked, though he was definite that he knew the answer already. 'Where are you from?"

"Yeah,' he said, tossing his pen up and down casually. 'Just transferred from Westvale."

"Westvale: isn't that a little far to come to McKinley then?" Kurt asked nonchalantly.

"No, McKinley's got a great athletic program."

Kurt snickered.

"_Great_?' he said in disbelief. 'Our football team won one game last year."

"Yeah, but have they ever have to give up a game because the other team scored seventeen touchdowns in the first twenty minutes?"

"Okay, even McKinley's not that bad.' Both boys laughed.

"Boys, I do _not _want to have to go over there and break you two up." Ms. Erfan scolded loudly across the room. Heads turned to see what was going on in the back desk. Several guys started sniggering, and Kurt heard a couple of insensitive names being tossed around. Cheeks only a tinge of pink, Kurt looked down at his paper and continued to work silently until the bell rang.

"Hey, see you later, man." the jock grinned as he left the class. Kurt grinned back, and continued to pack his papers into his shoulder bag. He intended to slip out of the classroom quietly, but no sooner had he finished packing his bag that Mercedes appeared, with Tina in tow.

"So, Kurt,' Mercedes asked, beaming. She clutched her own shoulder bag eagerly. 'Tell me about this new man."

"Yeah,' chimed Tina. 'We think he maybe kind of thinks you're cute, Kurt."

"Ladies, please.' Kurt grinned: though he didn't like to admit it, he enjoyed attention as much as Rachel did, though he wasn't as needy and desperate for it as she. 'We were merely having a light conversation. We talked about Ms Erfan and football, that's it. Besides, he has a girlfriend."

"Ooh, a girlfriend?' Tina teased.

"Wonder who it is?' Mercedes said, in a tone that really was more sarcastic than curious.

"Well, whoever she is, she's in glee club." Kurt concluded as he fumbled with his locker code. After struggling for several moments, he was able to open his locker and put away the '_Wicked_' binder.

"Oh, who could it be?' Tina wondered aloud: she seemed to be more curious than Mercedes.

"What if it's Rachel?' Mercedes said quietly, and Kurt and Tina both looked at her in horror.

"Well then that's not fair.' Kurt said simply as he returned to emptying the pens from the shoulder bag. 'How could somebody who dresses like her be involved in so many relationships?"

"Somebody who dresses like whom?' piped up Rachel , who arrived carrying a thick textbook.

"Nobody." answered Kurt all-too-quickly. 'We're just talking about the new boy in school."

"Kurt's got a crush on him.' Mercedes announced. It was meant as a tease, but Rachel obviously saw past the teasing.

"What new boy?"

Tina and Mercedes exchanged a glance. They had no idea what his name was. But Kurt was certain he did.

"Bradley. He's the new boy, I sat next to him in Biology."

Rachel raised her eyebrows in suspicion.

"How can that be?' she said. 'I just sat next to a new kid in Chemistry, and he said his name was Bradley. I'm fairly sure he was also flirting with me, and if it weren't for the loving bond I maintain with Jesse, I would have definitely let him tap me."

The other three stood there awkwardly. Rachel, however, saw no problem with what she had just said, and she beamed brightly before sauntering away.

A/N: Yeah, so that wasn't Ken's nephew in Kurt's class. He'll come into the story again later. Apologies for un-witty Kurt and narcissistic Rachel: I'm not as witty or as Rachel-istic as they are. Thanks for reading, I'll update soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: The Real Bradley

No matter what Rachel Berry said, Kurt was sure that the boy in his Biology class was his "competition" for kicker on the football. He carried that suspicion with him all day, through French class, lunch period, Advanced Chemistry and homeroom. It took Ken Tanaka until the last moment before Glee club to prove Kurt wrong.

"Hey, Hummel!'

Once again, Ken Tanaka stood in the door of his office. Several freshmen looked around, but the other students rushing to their cars or to the bus couldn't care less.

Kurt, who was struggling through the crowd of exiting students to get to the music room, stopped at the sound of his name. He groaned when he saw Ken standing at the door to his office, beckoning Kurt with two fingers.

"Hummel, don't know if you've met Bradley, my nephew, yet."

Judging from the boy leaning on the back of lime-and-black plaid armchair, Kurt certainly had not met him. This boy was slender, easily shorter than Kurt.

"Well, don't just stand there,' said Ken, after Kurt had somehow miraculously managed to fit through the door frame and the coach. 'Take a seat."

For the second time that day, Kurt politely refused, making a point not to stare at the ever-present armchair jockstrap. Ken shook his head as he held up his fanny pack to get around the desk.

"You kids today take everything for granted.' he muttered. 'Anyway, Hummel, this is my nephew, Bradley. Brad, this kid is your competition for kicker."

Bradley snickered quietly as he looked Kurt once over. Kurt narrowed his eyes and raised his right eyebrow in self-defence: but he felt his cheeks warm slightly. He didn't need to be there and get looked over by some skinny sophmore in jeans and a blue sweater.

All three men stood in the office awkwardly. Ken's desk chair made the only noise as he lowered himself down. Kurt glanced at the clock above the desk, emblazoned with the William McKinley Bulldog.

"Coach Tanaka?' he spoke. 'I've got to go to glee club."

Ken, who was tapping his pencil against the top of the desk absent-mindedly, nodded. As Kurt was halfway out the door, desperately glad that he could leave, the hand of Terror and Jockstraps reached back and pulled Kurt back into the office.

"Hey, Hummel, bring Brad along in case you see Hudson.' Ken ordered gruffly. Kurt felt exasperated: what would it take to get away from Ken Tanaka?

Bradley, who remained on the far side of the armchair, looked blankly at his uncle. He apparently, had the answer to Kurt's mental rhetorical question, because Bradley left the office as quickly as he could, and decided to walk eight feet away from Kurt at all times.

This method got a little annoying by the time Kurt reached the Choir Room. Shooting Bradley an "I'm appalled by your behaviour, but then again, what else can I expect? You are a jock, and will one day be trimming the ear hair of my butler" look, Kurt entered the Choir Room quite satisfied. He made a beeline to a seat on the top row, leaving Bradley to wander into the room, a bewildered look on his face.

The room went silent as Bradley, this new student, unknown by the greater population of the room, continued to check out this foreign room. Mr Schue, who appeared to be arranging sheet music on the piano, looked up from his work. He stepped over to Bradley, and talked to him quietly.

Mercedes turned around to Kurt.

"Is this that new boy from football, Kurt?' she whispered. 'He's cute!"

"Definitely a football hottie.' added Tina.

Now it was Kurt's turn to act bewildered.

"Ladies, are we looking at the same Bradley?' he interrogated honestly. 'The Bradley I see is a lanky kid, almost too small to be on the football team.'

Kurt narrowed his eyes as he looked Bradley once over. He was still speaking with Mr Schue.

'His hair is too spiky: he obviously overuses the dollar-store hair gel. His sweater is clearly a knock-off of Marc Jacobs Signature Collection, his face is abnormally round for his lanky body.' Kurt paused to recooperate. 'He _obviously_ is not football material."

"The kicker is the smallest guy on the team, Kurt." interjected Artie. Pushing Artie's comment aside, Kurt leaned forward so that he could speak without being overheard.

"The guy's a total hater. He smirked at me in Tanaka's office, he won't come ten feet near me-' As always, Kurt was interuppted, mid-sentence, by William Schuester.

"Sorry about the delayed start, guys. I was just talking to Bradley here about some stuff. Without further ado- Jesse?"

"Mr Schuester, will this boy be joining our Glee Club?' he asked nonchantly from the first row, his arm resting across the back of Rachel's chair. 'Because frankly, I could use some male competition."

"Shut it, St James, or I'll tear your curly mane off and wash my mother's Volkswagon with it."

"What are you going to do, Puckerman?' retored Jesse cooly, looking ahead instead of at Puck, who sat behind. 'Knock me up?"

"Guys, that's enough! You're not setting a great example for Bradley here."

Puck sat back in his seat, though kept his fists clenched. Mr Schue continues:

"He will not be joining New Directions: he is just here to talk with Finn."

"Honestly, Mr Schue, can Puckerman cover this one? I'm not feeling too great."

Finn was sitting in the very last chair in the back row, as his regular seat had now been taken by Jesse. The grey hoodie that Finn worelooked wrinkled, and his brown hair had evidently not seen a comb for days.

"It doesn't matter.' shrugged Mr Schuester. 'Puck, if you want to take Bradley into the hall, give him the lowdown on what McKinley Football's all about, that kind of thing."

Puck nodded once, then gestured for Bradley to go into the hall.

"Now, if we could finally get started on today's lesson- Yes, Brittany?"

Brittany lowered her eagerly waving hand. With her eyes big, she told Mr Schue solemnly:

"Mr Schue, my boyfriend is on the football team."

Put off by this random tidbit of information, Mr Schue grinned and nodded.

''That's great, Brittany.'' But Brittany wasn't done.

"And his ears smell like tapioca. I think he has tapioca elves living in his head."

A/N: This chapter is a bit of filler. Haven't updated it in a long time, so it was due for a change. To anyone who is wondering, this takes place sometime between "The Power of Maddona" and "Theatricality", so decide where you want to put it. Goodnight.


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